My Sister-in-Law is a Liar (and Bonus Free Childcare Rant)

Your Question I don’t like my sister in law baby sitting as I don’t trust her or really like her that much. She is very sly and scheming nothing that comes out out of her mouth is true. We just don’t like each other.

When I tell this to my partner he just flips big time to the point he walked out on us. We are together for now but this issue always rears its ugly head and I refuse to back down as I just don’t trust her or her judgement.

How can you trust someone who lies openly to your face? He is always trying to get her to look after the baby when I am at work or sometimes won’t tell me she is looking after the baby until after she has arrived.

My Sister in Law is a Liar

the advicist Is it really worth losing your partner over her?

Really. It doesn’t matter who is right, who is wrong, who lied to whom. If you and partner split up because of this, I have to think you weren’t made to be a team. And also, who won then, huh?

A sister-in-law is someone who is in your life. But why has she got so much power over you and your relationship?

I get that you don’t like her. It’s ok. You didn’t marry her.

Why don’t you trust her to look after the baby? Because she’ll do things a little differently from you? Because she’ll let him watch cartoons? Or because she lets him play with her matches while she smokes a joint?

What I’m trying to say is: How realistic is your perception of risk? Do you have a real reason not to feel right leaving your baby with her? If so, defend that line. If she is an unsafe babysitter, and your husband still wants her to look after your kid to make his life easier, he isn’t fit to be a father.

But if she just loads your kid on candy and lets him watch TV because, hey, she likes letting him have treats and she is doing you a favour, you need to calm the f*ck down. If you want him to only watch cartoons that improve his French and eat quinoa and organic green beans, sorry, you’re going to have to cough up for an over-priced nursery place and stop taking advantage of your relatives for free childcare. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you can’t accept free childcare from family, and then complain that their service isn’t comprehensive enough. It makes you an ungrateful jerk.

photo credit: GViciano via photopin cc

 


One Response to 'My Sister-in-Law is a Liar (and Bonus Free Childcare Rant)'

  1. Remy says:

    “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you can’t accept free childcare from family, and then complain that their service isn’t comprehensive enough. It makes you an ungrateful jerk.”

    Absolutely.

    The issue seems bigger than this, though: the LW has expressed grave concerns about the sister-in-law as a caregiver, but her partner is ignoring those concerns and (it sounds like) purposely undermining her by asking and allowing the sister-in-law to babysit and not telling his partner about it. That’s not okay. If the LW’s idea of what makes a safe and trustworthy babysitter are reasonable, he’s putting their kid in danger (for convenience? to make a point?). Even if the LW is overreacting to minor issues of permissiveness and not a lack of safety, the partner is being disrespectful and deceitful. “How can you trust someone who lies openly to your face?” the LW asks. How, indeed?

Do you have any advice to give? We always love to hear different ideas.

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