Question: My daughter and her dad don’t get along and it has caused one problem after another. She doesn’t even want me and her dad to be around each other.
Our home life is really suffering, and she doesn’t go to school and hasn’t tried to get a job and she will be 18 pretty soon. What can be said and done about this?
my honest answer: Why don’t they get along? Is there anything specific that causes them to fall out? Have you asked each of them?
Why doesn’t she want you to be around each other? I can understand she doesn’t like him. But if she gets on with you, what is her objection to him that makes her not even want you to be with each other?
As for the school and the job, hmmm. In my day (sorry, it had to happen sooner or later), I had two choices: Get a job, or move out.
The thing is, that ultimatum worked because my mother never made an empty threat. She said it, and and I was straight down at an employment agency.
Looking back, would she have thrown me out? Probably not. But would she have let me stay home with no job? No, she wouldn’t.
I can’t suggest that as a solution to your problems though, because unless you have been setting a lot of boundaries and always upholding them, it’s hard to start with something so big. Threats only ever work if you have a history of meaning what you say. Do you?
So all of that to say, I don’t really have much to offer in the way of help on this one, sorry.
Is there any more information you can come back to me with about why they don’t get on?
Or do any readers have any suggestions for solving the school / work problem? I’m kinda stumped on this one.